Sunday, October 08, 2006

Yallah Minnaaak...YALLAH!

The below is in response to: http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/1yr_arc_Articles.asp?Article=158000&Sn=LETT&IssueID=29201&date=10/7/2006


Dear M Ayaz,

It was very kind of you to take out your pen and pencil and write your lovely little heartwarming letter to the GDN on Saturday the 7th of October. I hope you didn’t use a computer, because then you would’ve had to use Windows, and we don’t know what infidels were working as programmers on this and I think it would be HARAM to use their products. Also Inshallah you didn’t put the date as October 7th, 2006 because as we all know, the Gregorian calendar is not relevant to our religion, next time please refer to the Hijrah, so we can feel more Islamic and pretty inside.

Ayaz, I would kindly ask you not to speak any more, because you’re starting to create what is known as a “Brain Fart”. I don’t think that you’re in any position to suggest bans, restrictions, or new fatwas on what is HARAM and what isn’t. I hope you wrote this letter in Arabic as well, as it is the language of the Quran. Can you write Arabic? In fact, this letter is to you and to all the other domesticated monkeys who feel the need to make us more Muslim by banning fun. Incase you missed the handing out of brains event, during creation, let me give you a tip! Not you nor any other little sewage bacteria has the right to control people’s freedoms, make suggestions, or restrictions. If I want to, I can have a juicy cheeseburger in the middle of the day during Ramadhan, and I have to answer to my own faith. God is not going to call you up, Ayaz, and ask you why you weren’t guarding my kitchen!

And another thing, what is this retarded notion that you do everything Islamicly only in Ramadhan. I suggest that you do it all year round, so we don’t have to see you anywhere public. Never come to the cinema. Don’t come to any hotel/restaurant or cafĂ©, as they will all either play music, serve alcohol, or have a TV. Oh and the mixing of the sexes! Blasphemy, how can you witness such sins???

Ayaz, starting now, just stay at home, and stop salivating in front of the cinema. The rest of the community who don’t want to practice your sadistic version of religion, would really appreciate not having to step in your puddle of drool.

Also, if you have a problem with BTV broadcasting music, then I suggest you give your TV away to charity. You don’t seem to know how to use it very well. If you recall, movies, music, women, cartoons, breathing are all HARAM. So it is best you call up your good friends in the caves of Afghanistan and tell them you want to go back. They will be happy to show you how Islam has helped them and the repressed beings under them.

Oh and by the way Ayaz, the BIG SIN is that your mother didn’t use birth control.

6 comments:

amal said...

I really wish he could read this... oooh.. but he can't.. it's HARAM...

shame on you :p

Mahmood Al-Yousif said...

LOVE IT!

My sentiments exactly ;)

F. Mattar said...

Thank You, Mahmood! It's an honor to have you commenting on my blog.

I hope you keep giving me your feedback, it means alot.

Anonymous said...

hehehe..

I love this country...

Anonymous said...

good!!! good ! good!

Anonymous said...

... lol.... gotta love you my darling. i go to paris for 9 weeks, and you come up with this! love you and great to see that the blood is still hot! you go girl! x,d