UoB the place to be...a clone.

This was my response to the retarded University of Bahrain law which will not accomplish jackshit.

Why is it that when I studied in a university in Boston, 10,000 kilometers away from my parents, and where your freedoms are pronounced, and enforced daily, I never dressed “skimpily”? How come the student body there looks respectable, without any Fascist or Victorian rules hung over their heads like death sentences?

I mean sure I shaved my head, at one point, and I went to my classes like that, but I soon learned that it wasn’t a good look for me. No one pulled me aside to give me a talk. راسي و كيفي. However, had I been a student in Bahrain University, I would’ve had to fake a fatal illness, to try the GI Jane look.

Could it be that the lack of detailed micro-managing rules and misbehaviour are not actually related? God forbid, someone should do something, that you personally don’t agree with. We must make up new rules to combat everything. Can you imagine if the law had to uphold some of my suggestions?

1. If you chew with your mouth open, you will be escorted to a cattle farm for 5 hours daily of labor to see how unpleasant it is, when chewed food is on display.
2. If you burp in public, you will be fined 500 BHD which will be shared equally among all the victims who heard you and were disgusted at the time of the incident.
3. Any spitting, phlegm-ejecting out of car windows will be punished by a round of spit balls from a firing squad of 10 unruly teenagers.
4. If you push in line, and don’t stand at the back of the queue you could be arrested and sentenced to 20 hours of queuing, and when you get to the end of the line, you get slapped.
5. Anyone who is rude or unkind to his wife in public, will be punished by making him kiss his wife’s feet and beg for forgiveness in front of all the local mosques, the sentence depends on the number of mosques, maatams that are in Bahrain.
6. Any woman wearing a hideous shade of purple lipstick, that is so offensive even catwalk models won’t try it, should be punished by being made to eat the above mentioned offensive lipstick.
7. All men who think it’s cute to say something perverted to girls passing by, have to be tied up and pelted with rabbit dung for 3 days by any girl who has suffered such annoyances. This will be held in the Seef Mall; the Mecca of such people.
8. People who don’t signal when turning left/right or changing lanes, have to be pulled aside and asked to do the YMCA dance, while singing during high traffic.
9. Any man who makes his wife eat in public, with a burqa, doing the garage-door move to reach her mouth, should be sentenced to eating spaghetti and peas wearing the same…for the rest of his life.
10. Anyone who smells, due to lack of showering, sweaty clothes, or lost their deodorant should be sent to a zoo to start an alternative skunk exhibit.

There. The above rules will make a lot of lives easier and more pleasant. I hope that you will all appreciate the fact that I don’t enforce them, because I’m tolerant of others. Now maybe someone should smack the University upside the head and knock some education into them.