Silly Rabbit, Mini Burgers are for kids

Dear Fuddruckers Management,

I tried to order the mini burgers today which are quite delicious and just the right size portion so I don’t get a tummy ache. However there is a “rule” that states that I cannot order it, because its only for kids.

Now I’m not sure what to say to this because I always felt that I was a kid at heart. I’m also told by many people that I look younger than my years.

So the waiter (who was very polite—and a little bit apprehensive) had to call the MANAGER. It was as if I had ordered a bottle of Whiskey..and didn’t have ID…in Saudi Arabia.

The manager politely told me that “ as per the procedures..” the mini burger was only for kids and that I can have a value meal instead, which was the same size as two mini burgers combined but in one bun. But that –other than being a ridiculous suggestion- is like offering someone a whole potato and telling them it’s the same as sticking all the French fries together.

Uh, I don’t think so.

It would be very progressive and modern of you to bin this archaic rule which infringes on personal freedoms. Also most of the population is really fat and you should encourage smaller portions and healthy choices.

I thank you for your time and hopefully next time I come here I can order my mini burgers without calling in high officials, managers, and presenting a photo ID.

Kind regards,

Farah Mohd Mattar

(20 minutes after I finished eating my mini burger, which I was told I would get for the LAST time, a group of girls walked in and sat on the other side of the restaurant. When I over heard their conversation with the waiter and he began to explain that the value meal was the same size as two mini burgers and that it was against the system, I almost died laughing. They too signed the petition to FREE THE MINI BURGERS.)

Stupidity and Indifference

I am utterly disgusted by the headline on page 3 of the GDN March 4th 2009 “rape harmless fun” says lawyer. First of all, I have to know, is this what she meant, or has this been taken out of context?

Because it is extremely upsetting to show this kind of attitude and lack of respect for women and basic human rights. It is disgusting that she got a headline, saying that the horror that one woman went through was the “harmless fun” of 3 adult men! It is shocking that this is coming from a woman.

I don’t think that the GDN should be writing things like a mindless tattle tale and simply repeating stupidity. I think that as a newspaper you are responsible for the influence and current trends in attitude towards certain issues. The article should be about the HUGE problem we have of not putting the right crime with the right punishment. We should be questioning the level of education this lawyer has. We should be questioning how recent bans on website, infringe on personal freedoms and do nothing for an expat woman with no one to stand with her in a case like this.

Rape is not an issue to be taken lightly, it is a serious violation of another human being’s rights. It is an act of inflicting power on another and not sexual as is commonly misinterpreted by people in general. Rapists are people who get a thrill out of over powering and being in control. These individuals even at the young age of 19,20 and 21 years of age are dangers to society, their neighborhoods and the very families that they will go on to create. When they commit a crime against one person, it should feel to society that the crime is against everyone.

When we read things like these in the paper, there should be some kind of call for the country's population to support tougher laws and not put up with bull shit excuses by uneducated pathetic members of society who give Bahrain a poor reputation. How do you think it looks when an international press agency picks up a headline like this on the internet?

What does that do for Bahrain? Or for it’s people? Nothing. Lately the GDN is more like the Khaleeji TV series they put in Ramadhan. They claim to show us the truths of society, but in fact all they do is perpetuate the practice of disgusting behavior by magnifying a small percentage and blowing it up for everyone to learn from.

That is not responsible journalism..

Berries on the Brain

With work threatening to take over my life and my entire being, I decided to seize the bull by the horns, and help myself. After several years of looking at the blackberry with disdain and contempt, and swearing I would never want one, I suddenly had a thought, one day while lugging my lap top for the 5^th time that week, that perhaps the “toot” was going to be my savior.

I wasn’t offered one by the office, in fact, they weren’t too happy with the request that we need it. And perhaps that reverse psychology was part of the reason that my stubborn head finally began to look at the curious fruit named gadget as the answer.

Impatient as I am, the day I decided to welcome the Blackberry into my embrace, was the day I wanted it active. I trotted feverishly over to Batelco, only to be told that their very last Bold (which rumour has it is prone to jamming) was reserved for someone very important, and that they were in a hunt all over Bahrain to find a second one, for someone else equally important.

I should know better than to listen to Batelco. In about 2 minutes flat, I spoke to Sharaf DG the new Mecca for electronics, to find that not only did they have ample stock of the Blackberry Curve that I wanted, but it was also at the best price in town. And they were friendly, polite and promised to hide one for me. Which is more than I can say for Geant, who will transfer you to the fish counter, to answer your question about a printer.

I got there in about 30 minutes-I don’t know where Batelco was looking, but it was a blackberry fest up in there - picked up my new technology, paid for it without wincing, and frolicked back home, like I had just won a prize at the fair.

Of course I didn’t get my wish of having it hooked up and ready to go, as there was additional procedures to go through with Batelco and the IT at the office, so for the last time I went home looking like a bag lady carrying my lap top.

The reason I wanted a blackberry is because I wanted to spend more time with Ali. I can’t, in the middle of hugging him, feeding him, or playing monster with him, drop it all, go to my lap top, open it and try to log onto my email clicking pathetically for 20 minutes until it hooks up to WIFI. Because then once that’s open, I’ve forgotten that I have a son, or he has fallen asleep again, and I’m left WORKING. Again. From home. Because now I’m in there, and I might as well just check all the emails and reply to them all before I forget, and the next thing you know, I’m an android.

So for the past 2 weeks, the BB, has become a part of my anatomy. I became an expert in about a day and a half and I have become lighter and more mobile, without all the extra baggage. What I hadn’t realized as of this morning, is that I have been working non-stop for the past few weeks and the baggage was now mental and not physical. The Blackberry has become almost like an evil Nazi trainer, whipping me ruthlessly into 20 reps of emails in every free moment that I might have. My brain has literally only stopped to rest at night, when I sleep. The speed at which I began to connect things, and then action them and coordinate a gazillion things through SMS and phone calls at once was beginning to impress my superiors. It was the delicate balance of exhaustion and momentum that kept me going. I had broken new frontiers, raised the bar, and shot out of my comfort zone.

Basically, I had screwed myself.

I realized that this morning, when I woke to find that BB had run out of battery during the night and died. And I was forced to put it in the charger which is all the way in another room, as I had run out of outlets in my bedroom.

I had forgotten the peace and bliss of ignorance while sipping my morning coffee; the quiet before the daily storm and the chance to think about things OTHER than work.

Yesterday, I tried to balance being a blackberry superstar and a home-alone mom. I was with Ali and no one else was home. Everyone had somewhere fancier to be. I was exhausted…but he WASN’T. At some point he tried to eat my Blackberry, so I distracted him with my phone. Oh yes, my stupid strategy at simplifying life, means now I’m responsible for charging, and maintaining TWO gadgets. Anyway, by 8pm, I was so tired, that I didn’t even argue with him as he practically sat on my head, drooling onto my nose and waving one or both of my technology about. “Oh..do whatever you want…” I thought.

I fell asleep twice while trying to put him to sleep, as he lay peacefully in my arms chewing my hair and staring at my chin. I wasn’t learning the graceful art of motherhood with a career very well yet. I kept getting distracted by the ominous vibrations coming from the black leather case. Each one was a warning of endless tasks to pour my way tomorrow morning.

Ali slept in the end, but only after I had burned 1074 calories. I picked up my stuff and tiptoed out of his room. Mission accomplished. I unlocked my BB to see what else was new, and saw one line of battery left.

HAHAA! You can’t out do me bitch! I have TWO lines left in me! I plugged it into the charger, and left it there in the naughty corner. I decided to enjoy the rest of my evening and night at the other end of the house, far away from the frequent buzzing, or the annoying reminder that work was now ALWAYS at my finger tips.

Buh Bye BERRY BOY. See you during working hours…

Future Headlines that we could do without!

NOTE: THIS IS FICTION. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN AND NEVER WILL HOPEFULLY TO THE LOVELY BAHRAIN. xxx

Ban on day of love

A session in parliament, meaning to discuss important and pivotal issues like approving the national budget, was disrupted when one of the MP's received a fresh bouquet of roses with big balloons asking the bearded heart throb to be someone's valentine, right in the middle of the session.

Although the bouquet was extravagant and quite difficult to ignore, the MP was also showered with pink glitter by the messenger and thus proceeded to blush profusely, causing heads to turn and suppressed giggles to erupt among the onlookers.

The chairman of parliament settled the room and asked everyone to get back to the matter at hand, however it was too late, as members began to request time to speak, clearly to discuss this new development.

The head of the crap-and-other-useless-rules committee stood up and addressed the session.

"I think that we have to ban this unislamic practice of valentine's day. It is a day when misguided teenagers are sending flowers to each other and expressing their love to one another which is not only against our culture and traditions, but also morally corrupt." He said.

"We have received many complaints from individuals that their neighborhoods were turning into rose infested slums. The sound of love songs and secret amorous messages was causing them to have uncomfortable feelings."

It was proposed that all valentine's day memorabilia be banned and that any florist caught selling red roses, eating red roses, or simply possessing them would face a minimum of 3 months jail time.

Members unanimously voted in favor of this new ban, except for the culprit, who hid under his table in shame at having received such a scandalous display of what is clearly misguided affection.

xoxo